What Will Dates Be Like in 100 Years?

https://www.flickr.com/photos/lac-bac/

https://www.flickr.com/photos/lac-bac/

Have you ever wondered that? I haven’t really, not until I used this widget that came up with blog post titles. It wasn’t really something I thought I’d explore until the widget gave me the inspiration. So I thought, hey why not?

What do you think dates will be like in 100 years?

I see a lot more virtual interaction. We already meet online, so I don’t see it as any stretch whether we’ll interact online. I think the way we interact will be different, but not how. I think we’ll still try to make ourselves look as good as possible.

Hmm, or maybe we’ll go back to the formal courtship where we have to have a chaperone at all times. Or maybe dating will be completely meaningless and we’ll just throw ourselves at each other because we no longer know the meaning of intimacy.

What road are we going down?

The Word: Paint, the Challenge: Five Minute Friday

Some Fridays, when I remember, I talk part in a little exercise called “Five Minute Friday.”

The only thought that comes to mind when I think of the word “paint” is my love of the practice. I’ve never been an artist, I’ve never been good at stick figures. It’s not my natural gift, and it’s not my craft. I really have no desire to get better at it, but I love doing it.

paint

Painting is a release. If you’ve been following my blog for a while, I’ve talked about it before. It’s my release because I’m not challenged by other people’s opinions of my work. It’s my release because I feel no pressure to present a great project to the general public.

That’s the problem with dreams: they come with a price. The price is that at the end of all the hard work, you’re supposed to have something successful. Because that’s what you tell yourself – I must show the world that I can be successful. I wish we didn’t do that to ourselves, but it happens to us more than we’d like to admit.

But not painting. The act itself is what comes to mind when I was presented the word, because to me it represents a simple freedom from myself and my self-induced pressure.

Do you have a hobby or passion that’s simply a release for you?

Five Minute Friday

 

Take Your Relationship Further: Ask Your Spouse Questions

Photography by Jenna

Photography by Jenna

Last week’s marriage post finished off ways to make the most of your time with your spouse. One of the ways to do that is to ask good questions, deep questions, silly questions, and mundane questions. My husband and I do this a lot; it’s a good way to spend a dinner date when you’re not sure what else to talk about or you don’t want to keep bringing up your kids, pets, friends, in-laws, etc. Asking random questions reveals your spouse’s heart in ways you can’t by just sharing about your day or problem-solving your latest home project. Asking questions means you’re still dating your spouse, and that’s important!

Below is a lengthy, but not exhaustive, list of questions to ask your spouse. I encourage you to come up with questions that match your own personality and build on your own history, but these are a good start if you’ve never been in the habit of this before.

Start easy:

  1. What’s your favorite color?
  2. What’s your favorite movie?
  3. What’s your favorite book?
  4. What’s your favorite musician?
  5. What is your idea of a dream vacation?
  6. How many kids do you want? (unless, of course, you’re done having kids)
  7. What sport did you play in high school?
  8. What’s your favorite food?
  9. What’s your favorite meal we cook together?
  10. What’s the best gift you’ve ever been given?

Why these questions? Because the answers to these questions will change over time. My favorite color changes every season. They seem like answers you should know as your spouse’s best friend, because you should know. So asking them again from time to time keeps you in the loop about your best friend, and if an acquaintance asks what kind of cake they should bring to your surprise birthday bash, you’ll know the answer right away.

Get imaginative:

  1. If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
  2. What would be your dream job?
  3. What country do you want to visit before you die?
  4. If you could only eat at one restaurant for the rest of your life, which one would you choose?
  5. What does your dream house look like?
  6. What is your ideal workout?
  7. What’s something you really want for a gift but don’t think you will ever get?

Why these questions? Because life with your spouse should be fun and silly. And this is a way for you to better understand the personality of your spouse. You will never stop learning about how your husband works, what makes him tick. If you try hard enough, there is always something new to learn.

Get deep

  1. What is your greatest fear?
  2. What’s one thing you really like about yourself?
  3. What’s one thing you really like about me?
  4. What’s one thing you’re unhappy about yourself?
  5. What’s your biggest goal for this month? This year?
  6. What’s something on your bucket list that we can work on accomplishing?
  7. What is one of your biggest regrets?
  8. How can I better love you this week?

Why these questions? Sometimes I think that we have this idea that once we get married, we know almost everything about our spouse. We’ve asked all the big questions during dating, and we’ve learned all about their past. But your husband is not just his past. He is always changing and growing and learning and falling down and getting up. Marriages run into trouble when the couple thinks they have their counterpart figured out. But we don’t. While my husband’s mind isn’t running a mile a minute like mine is (men just aren’t wired that way), I still don’t know everything he is thinking and feeling.

Get quirky

  1. You’re in a room without doors or windows with a bear, a lion, and a puma. You only have a foot-long PVC pipe to protect you. Based on your knowledge of these three animals, how do you stay alive?
  2. Say you have to make a career switch when you’re 62 years old (three years before retirement). What career would you choose?
  3. What pet would you rather have? A chinchilla, an iguana, or a skunk? And why?
  4. Would you rather have your mind serve as an mp3 player so you can listen to music whenever you want or be able to watch your dreams on television?

Why these questions? Men and women are different. Individuals are different. When you ask silly questions like this that don’t really seem to have a point, you learn about their preferences and strengths and how their minds work in an indirect way. You see into the creative mind that is your husband’s – for we are all creative. Never forget that.

Turn it around:

  1. What’s MY favorite movie?
  2. What is MY favorite way to relax?
  3. What do you think MY superpower should be?
  4. What is MY best trait?
  5. What is MY love language?
  6. What is MY ideal vacation?

Why these questions? Adam and I just started doing this recently, and found it was both fun and insightful. I found that Adam knows me better than I know myself sometimes. I found that though I thought something else (for example, my favorite color was pink for a while), Adam observed different things (I hardly wear or own any pink things, and always tend to pick a different color combination). If it’s a bigger issue than a favorite color – like I think I’m being kind, but really I’m being a snob – I can adjust my actions as needed.

What are some questions of your own that you can ask your spouse? Answer in the comments below!

Giveaway: $500 April Showers Cash Giveaway

 

AprilShowers

Welcome to the $500 April Showers Cash Giveaway!

As a blogger, I’ve been wanting to do a giveaway for a while. To say thanks for everyone who takes part in Savvy Wifey, to promote the blog, what have you. Since this is my first one, I didn’t want to go solo, so I’ve partnered up with several other bloggers to bring you a nice-sized prize. Who doesn’t want an extra $500 to deal with the gloomy spring weather?

You have lots of opportunities to enter, just check out the Rafflecopter widget below and see all the ways to enter. Some you can do more than once. The giveaway ends on ­­­­April 22, and one lucky winner will be randomly chosen.

Yay! I’m excited! Make sure to spread the word!

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Enter to win $500 cash via PayPal.

Complete the tasks below to earn entries into this giveaway.

Refer your friends using your unique link to earn even more chances to win.

Open Worldwide.
Ends at 11:59pm EDT on April 22nd, 2014.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

This giveaway was coordinated by Giveaway Promote.

How to Make the Most of the Time with Your Spouse, Part Two

It’s not easy to be intentional with people. Especially when you’ve been around a person for a long time. What do you talk about? What do you do? How do you take the relationship even deeper? And why is it important?

Well, it’s important to be intentional, because it keeps a relationship strong. And a strong relationship cannot crumble.

So how do you make the most of the time with your spouse?

flickr.com, midiman

flickr.com, midiman

1. Limit your access to technology when around your spouse. I’ve said that here and here, because smart phones and TV are the most prevalent but easiest problem to have in your relationships. It’s not that you shouldn’t have a Galaxy S5 or watch the Walking Dead, but you cannot count it as time together when you’re in the same room but not interacting with each other. It doesn’t work that way.

2. Challenge each other to do something through out your day. Often, when you come home from work, you don’t know what to talk about. “How was work, honey?” “Fine.” And that’s about all you got. If you’re finding yourself unable to connect with your spouse about your day, you can challenge each other to have a deep conversation with a coworker (as much as is allowed), look for the beauty in the mundane, look to see where God is present to you, remember something hilarious that happened, commit a practical joke. Whatever. But challenging each other to step outside the drudgery of work and routine spices up your conversation later and helps you become partners in crime. Try it before you knock it.

3. Go on a regular date night. I won’t spend forever on this one, because you’ve heard it soooo many times. But this is valuable and necessary. And while movies are great, push yourselves to try other things that encourage interaction. Hiking, cooking classes, pottery, games nights. There are plenty of options out there that won’t break the bank but will put you face to face.

4. Ask questions. Adam and I do this all the time. We do everything from “what’s currently your favorite color?” (Mine changes a lot), to “what was the worst movie you’ve ever seen?” to “what’s your biggest fear?” to “if you had to escape out of a jail cell and had only the items someone could smuggle inside a cake, what items would you choose?” They range from the silly to the thought provoking, and because we change, the answers sometimes change. You will never run out of things to ask each other, they just might get more ridiculous as you go.

So there’s a start. Time is precious, and the time with your spouse is even more so. Take advantage of your time together as much as you can.

Have any other ways to be intentional with your spouse? I’d love to hear about them in the comments!